The Magnificent Discovery

Anwar and Clara Bulb-Julian lived in slices of the past with a dash of peppercorn. One day in the middle of winter, while perusing ancient family documents in the study, Anwar made a magnificent discovery: He was related to Agbar Todd, a Greek philosopher in the time of Socrates.

"Clara! Come, Clara!" he shouted upon making his find. Clara came quickly.

"What is it, dear?" she asked her white, middleclass husband.

"Oh, Clara look! I'm related to a famous Greek philosopher from before Christ's time."

"Oh, my. Which one, dear? Plato? Aristotle? Todd?"

"You guessed it, Clara. I'm related to Agbar Todd. Can you believe it?"

"I can't. I just can't. It's too good to be true. Are you sure, darling? Have you checked and re-checked?" Clara Bulb-Julian was not a pessimist, but she was very careful and thorough. And she was not about to let something as significant as this purloin her common-sense away. She was going to make doubly sure her balding, Protestant husband had the facts straight.

"I'm telling you, Clara, I've made no errors. It's all right here in these documents," said Anwar.

"Let's see, dear. Hmm, this is all very interesting," said Clara, studying the papers. "What's this?" She pointed to the last line on page three. As Anwar bent to read it, she clubbed him to death with a stale croissant.